Feel free to add your own...


Why does Snoop Dog carry an umbrella?
Fo Drizzaall


Why cant a bicycle stand up?
Its two tired.  

Q: How do you put an elephant in your refrigerator?
A: Open door, insert elephant.


Q: How do you get an aligator into your fridge?
A: Open door, REMOVE elephant, insert aligator.


Q: You are walking through the woods, and come across a river guarded by an alligator. The water is roughly 3 feet deep, and there are no bridges nor trees near the river. How do you get across?
A: Simple, wade through the water, take your shoes off if you'd like. Don't worry about the alligator, he's still in your fridge.  

There are two penguins in a shower, one says pass me the soap & the other says "What do you think I am? a typewriter?!"  

There are a few cows walking around in England. They're eating grass & such then one cows asks "Shouldn't we be worried about getting Mad Cow disease?" another replies "It's ok, I'm a helicopter"  

Q. whats white and lives in a tree?
A. a refrigerator.


Q. whats blue and lives in a tree?
A. a refrigerator with a denim jacket on.  

Q:Why do elephants paint their testicles red?
A: So they can hide in Cherry Trees.

Q: How did Tarzan die?
A: Picking Cherry's.

Q: Why do elephants lay upside down with their feet in the air?
A: To trip birds.  

How do you catch a unique rabbit?

Unique up on him.  

How do you catch a tame rabbit?

Tame way, unique up on him.  

A man walks into a bar, and orders 20 shots of the most expensive whiskey. The bartender lines them up, and man knocks them back 1 after another.

The bartender says, "that was quick" to which the guy responds, "you have drink quick when you've got what I"ve got."
The bartender quickly asks what the man has.
The man says, "$1.25".  

Ok, last one for now... add your own people!


A priest, a mexican and a rabbi walk into a bar. the bartender says, "is this some kind of joke"?  

So nobody has any more stupid jokes? Guess it's up to me then to keep you entertained!


A man walks into a psychiatrists office wearing nothing but plastic wrap

The psychiatrists says "Clearly I can see your nuts"  

Hickory Dickory Dock,
An elephant ran up the clock,
The clock is being repaired.  

Why do elephants paint their toenails red?
So they can hide in the strawberry patch. (Seriously, have you ever seen an elephant in a strawberry patch? No?! See how effective it is)


Ok, seriously, now it's your turn!  

You guys are seriously killing me here...

Fine, I'll continue...


Who can jump higher than a house?

Anybody can, houses don't jump.  

Q: Why do scuba divers fall backward into the water?

A: Because if they fell forward they'd land in the boat!