best speeding ticket excuse/story

I know we have all been pulled over before at least once. I've had the red and blue flashing lights behind me more than I care to count. Anyway, we are putting together a story about speeding tickets. I wanted to hear from you the best/funniest story of getting a ticket or excuse you used to get out of one. The best ones will end up in the magazine so let’s hear it.

Calin  

I was with the usual suspects at the local parking lot hang out when I was "encouraged" to do a burn out when I was getting ready to leave. I had just finished doing a bunch of mods to the motor so it was a requirement. There was a puddle in the lot so I rolled thru it and laid one down pro stock style...left a 100' wall of smoke. As I rolled to the stop sign and hit the turn signal what pulls into the lot right next to me??? Mr. Policeman stops, looks at the smoke everywhere, looks at me, I laugh and make my turn! It still makes me laugh. He was not as amused and proceeded to chase me down and pull me over about 2 blocks away. He could not "prove" that I did or didn't do it, and I claimed it was a car that headed the other way in the lot. I got the usual "next time I'm going to give you a ticket for every piece that is not stock, underhood chrome, headers and exhaust, blah blah blah". No ticket issued!  

Here's one my friend did: Rolling down a 2 lane street and the right lane has to merge left into 1 lane...my buddy is in the left lane and in the right lane next to him is a cruiser. The cop wants to get in front of my buddy so he speeds up...and so does my buddy. One goes faster, the other goes even faster...see where it's going? The cop cannot stop in time and goes off the road into a ditch! You know what happens next. It cost my buddy over $3000 for his laywer to "arrange" for it to be dismissed in court...the cop was pissed! The look on his face was worth every last dollar!    

Not speeding stories but 2 that I enjoy telling.  

...or the time I bought a 71 Charger with a 383 Magnum with a BIG cam and a buddy came over to check it out. I had uncorked the headers and decided to take him for a spin around the block. We are 3 blocks away and what rolls up to the stop sign opposite me??? You guessed it! Mr Policeman won't roll...I have no plates and an open exhaust...I idled by him loping away, hit the next right onto my street and HAMMERED the loud pedal for the next block and got the car into my driveway. We jump out and go sit on the porch and watch as 3 cop cars roll by looking for the car. HAHAHA!!!

Then there are the street racing stories...  

LOL....

Your buddy must be one of those crazy guys, running a cruiser into a ditch...hahahah

I think my best beating a speeding ticket story happened to me when I was 18 and I had just got my third car. My first ride was a 64 Mustang with a straight six under the hood so there wasn’t much speeding in that. My second ride was a ’72 Blazer with a very tired 305, again not much in the power department. The third car was a ’70 SS Chevelle with a big block under the hood and a built 400 trans.

I had just finished getting the Chevelle running and was driving it home for the first time to show off to my buddies. I picked up my friend Scott for a quick ride. I pulled off a side street onto the large 4 lane road that splits my neighborhood. As soon as the car was almost straight I hammered the gas and did everything possible to keep the tires lit and the car sideways. I was basically showing off instead of trying to go fast. The road was going up hill just a bit, so when I topped the rise all I could see was the unmistakable black and white paint scheme waiting to pull out of the Carl’s Jr. Instead of shutting it down right then and there, I kept on it and passed him with the tires just starting to hook up.

I went about a block and a half before I abruptly pulled over, jumped out of the car and popped the hood as fast as my fat butt could possibly do it. I reached under the air cleaner and grabbed the return spring on the carb and yanked it off. Just about then I hear, “Come around where I can see you”. I stepped to the side of the hood to see this cop who was so pissed he could barely form a sentence. After being told “you drive like an a-hole and the car is going to be impounded” I said all I did was touch the gas pedal and it went to the floor. I was playing the young and dumb card as best I could. He inspected the carb and saw the return spring laying on the intake, and said here is your problem.

Either the cop saw right through my line of BS and didn’t care anymore or he did believe me. When it was all over I drove off with no ticket and the cop actually fixed the return spring for me.

Now I can’t take credit for thinking of pulling the spring on my own. It was a story that my dad told me and that is all that popped into my head as I stared down the side of that cop car.  

That's awesome! The spring trick is the best!

My buddy was fresh off a 3 year stint in the military and was having "issues" with authority figures...LOL...his antics even got me pulled over when he was a passenger. Cops don't like one finger salutes!

Damn those were good times!    

ahahaha, you really got to love it when your passenger gets you lit up.

Ex-military or not me and that guy would have a few words about passenger etiquette..  

Oh we did!!!  

I scored a date with the hottest chick in my English class my junior year of high school. I picked her up and her dad said if i didnt have her home by 10:30pm that night that i'd never get a date with her again. There wasn't much to do in Temecula on a thursday night back in 1992 to so we drove south in my Camaro to Escondido for some miniature golf and video games.

the date was going so well that we lost track of time while playing air hockey (she won by the way). At 10:15 we realized we had to leave. It was a 30 mile drive. I was determined to make it and get another date. I did a buck ten in the camaro on the 15 freeway, coming down the hill into Temecula and got lit up with every light a cop car had.

I was toast! I had no excuse but Lauren sure did. She was a diabetic and faked a seizure right there in front of the cop. I played along, saying i was taking her to the ER. We got a police escort to the hospital and i got an 79 mph speeding ticket in a 55 mph zone. We were over an hour late so i never did get that second date.

I spent two days in traffic school, in a building overlooking main street in Temecula, during the annual hot rod show. You wanna talk about torture. that sucked!!!!  

Never had to do 2 days in a row in traffic school....I have done 2 days if you add up all the half days!

You grew up in Cali? I though you mentioned you grew up in the Midwest...  

alright i know this isn't a speeding ticket but its still funny atleast to me a nd my frinds. bout a year and half ago i was pulled over for the stereo being to loud. i was sit'n in a turning lane and before i knew it a cop pulls up to my truck. (what do you do then???? ) well theres not much you can do at this point, so i left it up and waited for the signal. he stuck his hand out the window pointed and told me to pull over. he walks up to the truck and ask me if i know why he pulled me over, i play dumb and say no. he said he was four cars behind me with his radio on and his windows up, and i was shaken his *** i lol told him to wait a year and itd be worse.  2 weeks later i was in cort over it and cost me $200, but its well worth it. bout a 5mos. later i pulled over again for the same thing, but ended up spending time in jail. my license was suspended from failure to to go to trffic school, window tint to dark, red neon lights, no seat belt, stero to loud, and they tryed to say my truck was to low, oh and faliure to provide proof of insurance. i spent 10 hours in jail, went to cort and everything was dropped. lol stupid cops!  

nah. i grew up in so cal and lived in new york while i went to college.  

my best story is i was heading to a movie that started in 5 min an i had my girlfriend her friend and her boyfriend i jumped on the freeway it was about dusk so everyone had there lights on i dident i was goin 90 in an out of traffic an i noticed a suv fallowing me in an out of traffic with me right on my ass an then he flashed his high beems at me so i figured he was telling me to put my lights on so i did i also noticed a set of bars in the front of his suv as soon as i noticed that i was exiting the freeway an thats when he flashed the red an blue so i stoped he came up to the pasenger side an said were was i going so so fast i said to a movie that starts in 2 min he said oww well this could be a very exspencive ticket i was goin 90 in an out of traffic with no lights on he then comes back in 5 min an looks at my girlfriend an points at the air bag an says to her this comes out at 90 mph the same speed your boyfriend was goin it will mess your make up up lol he then give me my lz back an says SLOW DOWN an lets me go FREE  

you are the luckiest man alive.  

last summer the wife and i were heading home from a weekend of boating on the colorado river. i was tired so she was driving us home. I was about 9pm and she was cruising west on I-10 at about 75 mph towing the boat in the left lane and passing semis. I was asleep in the passenger seat. she notices a car riding real close to the back of the boat trailer so she speeds up and keeps on passing trucks.

after a few miles the flashing red and blues blow up in the rearview mirror. She pulls over and wakes me up and then proceeds to freak out.

The cop comes up to my side of the truck and asks if she knew why he pulled her over. then he asks if i was high because my eyes were half-closed and i wasn't quite awake yet.

I say no and start getting out my paperwork. My business card fell out of my wallet and he grabbed it off my lap. Once he realized where i worked, the conversation switched from lecturing my wife about towing a trailer faster than 55 mph, to telling me all about the 32 Ford in his garage and how he loves drag racing etc.

We spent about 30 minutes on the side of the road rapping about muscle cars, hot rods, trucks and boats and he finally let us go. I drove the rest of the way home.  

My first and only triple digit ticket (almost) was not on a truck or car it was on a motorcycle an old cbrf2 I rebuild with help. anyway I was on Interstate 5 goin South between Machord AF base and Ft Lewis nice strecht maybe 2 miles long no lights on freeway. I had just gotten my bike painted, so I took it out for a test ride. I had never really pushed it. But when I got to this point, no one was on the freeway I didn't see any cars, vehicles,nothing, so what did I do? I ducted down, held tight to the grips, and then twisted the throttle and hung on. By the time I looked at the speedo I was doing a buck thirty, looked back up and what did I see?,way behind me?? but those infamous lights of red and blue. This is where I screwed up, I was at my exit to go on Ft Lewis. I did all this before the trooper got to me, I pulled over, shut the bike off,took my helmit and gloves off, and lit a cig. I was thinking the trooper had called the guards at the gates to Ft Lewis. <WRONG> Anyway the trooper got to me, after some orders from him, he came over to me and said " I'm glad you pulled over boy, because I was losing you" Yes my mind was going thru a few choice colorful words. In the end he ticketed me for going 95 in a 60 mph zone. That was the most expensive test ride ive had, it was about five and quarter. So there is a lesson here, If the lights are getting smaller you better....................(dont want to get in trouble for bad advice)